Above Average
Bryce was evaluated today to see if he was eligible for the genius class at a local school here in Washington. Being such a smart guy with so many talents I wasn't worried if he passed with flying colors or just was given the check mark of "Average".
He was praised and applauded for his efforts but will be placed in the average kindergarten. I'm so proud of his accomplishments and his ability to create and adapt, so much strength wrapped up in such a tiny being.
It completely amazes me... what he is capable of. With love, support, and encouragement, a child can excel beyond our wildest dreams. Something as small as placing the toilet paper roll on the little springy toilet paper thingy just tickles my heart.
Bryce is 5 1/2 and a lefty
He has always been so curious and captivated with how things operate. Anything with engines, wheels, or rockets fascinate his little mind. He takes the time to inspect them carefully, and spends hours recreating them with leggos, and drawings. When he learned how to walk it only took a day or two to realize the art of running. At a very young age he could dash across the rocks at the river and climb stairs without a problem. His little fingers have always been able to open and close things, getting into all kinds of fun. Opening and closing doors, zip lock bags, DVDs, the fridge all were things Bryce could do with ease shortly after he turned one, or even before.
All these little wonders are average, or slightly above.
Why do they stand out?
The bathroom was dark and she was trembling with fear as I walked by to grab a diaper. It had been days since she had come to live with us and along with the many other things I was learning I realized this 6 year old didn't have a clue how to turn on the bathroom light. Having already gone over how to get into the bathroom and how to turn the faucet on and off, I for some reason had missed this detail of bathroom visits. Why wouldn't I have thought to teach her how to turn on the light too?? Well I was still trying to wrap my mind around the neglect.
Turning a door knob
Opening a box of crayons
Turning on a faucet
Flushing a toilet
Putting on your socks
Climbing a ladder
Walking up or down stairs
Opening a zip lock baggy
Opening a DVD
Brushing your teeth
Snapping a button
Opening a fridge
Buckling your seat belt
Riding a bike with training wheels
Using a fork/spoon
Prepositions:
Above
Below
Up
Down
Over
Under
Commands:
Sit
Stand
Quiet
Stay
NO
Clean-up
All these things were mountains to climb, oceans to cross, and valleys to sweat in. And before we could start we had to give stability and security to these two precious children. With terror quivering through their bodies that first day they came to our home I bathed them in a tub with about 2 inches of water, just barely sprinkling it over their shaking bodies. I didn't dare get their heads wet. After they were "clean" I felt disgusted with myself, like I had violated them in some way. That night I woke up in a sweat from a dream that was never remembered.
Watching them walk past the bath room made me wonder what had happened to them to cause such fear. They hated it with a relentless passion as well as running water.
Two part statements such as:
Turn the light off and close the door
Put the dirty clothes in the basket
Wash your hands and turn off the light
Brush your teeth and go to bed
Put the toys on the shelf
These statements required months of teaching.
We had to start with the word LIGHT, then the word OFF, then onto CLOSE, and finally DOOR. I'm sure teaching English to a foreigner would have been easier simply because they would have had something to compare each word with. For example, a four or five year old on average knows what the word light means, even if he spoke Spanish and I pointed at a light the child would know what I was talking about because he can compare the word with the object. Not knowing what the word is but simply knowing what the object is helps a lot, but when you know neither, well it just makes things difficult for communicating.
It seemed as if these children had been hidden for years behind a brick wall, with
NOTHING!
Miracles!
Children truly amaze me! What precious gifts from God, each moment spent with a child seems like an opportunity to learn something new. These two girls surpassed not just mine but every one's expectations. The day I met them the social worker told me to treat them as if they were 12 months old, that they were delayed in every area, possibly irreversible mental retardation. These things may have ALL been very true if they were kept in continued neglect but they weren't. They were expected and encouraged to learn new things, have goals, and strive to become their best in everything. They had wings with which to fly and soar above anything that had been in their way before.
I guess why all this came to mind is because, I feel like I'm just an average mommy living an average life and having average expectations for my average five year old little honey of a son. Which I am extremely pleased to be in this average position. What got me thinking was how unaverage of a life these two girls must have had to be off the charts in below average. The IEP workers, Social workers, Councilors, Court workers and Lawyers all said the same things, "the abuse and neglect inflicted on these children is a rare case, there is nothing to compare it to because there are few who have experienced this kind of environment"
They couldn't be placed on a chart to be told if they were even close to average or not, they were off the chart.
Some area's of development will never be regained but with their own determination they passed us all up in the race to develope! They learned more than some children learn in years, they came to understand concepts that they were meant to learn as an infant, the leaps and bounds they made were remarkable and inspiring.
Children can surpass our own imagination of what they can become and who they can be, with love, respect, kindness, and instruction.
Lord keep my mind busy with your will for Bryce, your idea's of how to improve his mind and heart. Give me the understanding and knowledge to bring him closer to you. ~ Bryce's Mommy
"The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world
there hasn't been, and until the end of the world
there will not be, another child like him." ~ Pablo Casals
What is average anyways? Just a silly label!
In God's eyes we're all perfectly formed!
Bryce was evaluated today to see if he was eligible for the genius class at a local school here in Washington. Being such a smart guy with so many talents I wasn't worried if he passed with flying colors or just was given the check mark of "Average".
He was praised and applauded for his efforts but will be placed in the average kindergarten. I'm so proud of his accomplishments and his ability to create and adapt, so much strength wrapped up in such a tiny being.
It completely amazes me... what he is capable of. With love, support, and encouragement, a child can excel beyond our wildest dreams. Something as small as placing the toilet paper roll on the little springy toilet paper thingy just tickles my heart.
Bryce is 5 1/2 and a lefty
He has always been so curious and captivated with how things operate. Anything with engines, wheels, or rockets fascinate his little mind. He takes the time to inspect them carefully, and spends hours recreating them with leggos, and drawings. When he learned how to walk it only took a day or two to realize the art of running. At a very young age he could dash across the rocks at the river and climb stairs without a problem. His little fingers have always been able to open and close things, getting into all kinds of fun. Opening and closing doors, zip lock bags, DVDs, the fridge all were things Bryce could do with ease shortly after he turned one, or even before.
All these little wonders are average, or slightly above.
Why do they stand out?
The bathroom was dark and she was trembling with fear as I walked by to grab a diaper. It had been days since she had come to live with us and along with the many other things I was learning I realized this 6 year old didn't have a clue how to turn on the bathroom light. Having already gone over how to get into the bathroom and how to turn the faucet on and off, I for some reason had missed this detail of bathroom visits. Why wouldn't I have thought to teach her how to turn on the light too?? Well I was still trying to wrap my mind around the neglect.
Turning a door knob
Opening a box of crayons
Turning on a faucet
Flushing a toilet
Putting on your socks
Climbing a ladder
Walking up or down stairs
Opening a zip lock baggy
Opening a DVD
Brushing your teeth
Snapping a button
Opening a fridge
Buckling your seat belt
Riding a bike with training wheels
Using a fork/spoon
Prepositions:
Above
Below
Up
Down
Over
Under
Commands:
Sit
Stand
Quiet
Stay
NO
Clean-up
All these things were mountains to climb, oceans to cross, and valleys to sweat in. And before we could start we had to give stability and security to these two precious children. With terror quivering through their bodies that first day they came to our home I bathed them in a tub with about 2 inches of water, just barely sprinkling it over their shaking bodies. I didn't dare get their heads wet. After they were "clean" I felt disgusted with myself, like I had violated them in some way. That night I woke up in a sweat from a dream that was never remembered.
Watching them walk past the bath room made me wonder what had happened to them to cause such fear. They hated it with a relentless passion as well as running water.
Two part statements such as:
Turn the light off and close the door
Put the dirty clothes in the basket
Wash your hands and turn off the light
Brush your teeth and go to bed
Put the toys on the shelf
These statements required months of teaching.
We had to start with the word LIGHT, then the word OFF, then onto CLOSE, and finally DOOR. I'm sure teaching English to a foreigner would have been easier simply because they would have had something to compare each word with. For example, a four or five year old on average knows what the word light means, even if he spoke Spanish and I pointed at a light the child would know what I was talking about because he can compare the word with the object. Not knowing what the word is but simply knowing what the object is helps a lot, but when you know neither, well it just makes things difficult for communicating.
It seemed as if these children had been hidden for years behind a brick wall, with
NOTHING!
Miracles!
Children truly amaze me! What precious gifts from God, each moment spent with a child seems like an opportunity to learn something new. These two girls surpassed not just mine but every one's expectations. The day I met them the social worker told me to treat them as if they were 12 months old, that they were delayed in every area, possibly irreversible mental retardation. These things may have ALL been very true if they were kept in continued neglect but they weren't. They were expected and encouraged to learn new things, have goals, and strive to become their best in everything. They had wings with which to fly and soar above anything that had been in their way before.
I guess why all this came to mind is because, I feel like I'm just an average mommy living an average life and having average expectations for my average five year old little honey of a son. Which I am extremely pleased to be in this average position. What got me thinking was how unaverage of a life these two girls must have had to be off the charts in below average. The IEP workers, Social workers, Councilors, Court workers and Lawyers all said the same things, "the abuse and neglect inflicted on these children is a rare case, there is nothing to compare it to because there are few who have experienced this kind of environment"
They couldn't be placed on a chart to be told if they were even close to average or not, they were off the chart.
Some area's of development will never be regained but with their own determination they passed us all up in the race to develope! They learned more than some children learn in years, they came to understand concepts that they were meant to learn as an infant, the leaps and bounds they made were remarkable and inspiring.
Children can surpass our own imagination of what they can become and who they can be, with love, respect, kindness, and instruction.
Lord keep my mind busy with your will for Bryce, your idea's of how to improve his mind and heart. Give me the understanding and knowledge to bring him closer to you. ~ Bryce's Mommy
"The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world
there hasn't been, and until the end of the world
there will not be, another child like him." ~ Pablo Casals
What is average anyways? Just a silly label!
In God's eyes we're all perfectly formed!
3 comments:
oh this is heartbreaking! and i can understand a little of it as i used to work in a home for abused/neglected children.
You're a great mom, Nicole.
Thanks Jamie! :) & Rebecca, I can't imagine working with a handful of them at once.
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