The Average Miracles!

Above Average


Bryce was evaluated today to see if he was eligible for the genius class at a local school here in Washington. Being such a smart guy with so many talents I wasn't worried if he passed with flying colors or just was given the check mark of "Average".
He was praised and applauded for his efforts but will be placed in the average kindergarten. I'm so proud of his accomplishments and his ability to create and adapt, so much strength wrapped up in such a tiny being.

It completely amazes me... what he is capable of. With love, support, and encouragement, a child can excel beyond our wildest dreams. Something as small as placing the toilet paper roll on the little springy toilet paper thingy just tickles my heart.
Bryce is 5 1/2 and a lefty
He has always been so curious and captivated with how things operate. Anything with engines, wheels, or rockets fascinate his little mind. He takes the time to inspect them carefully, and spends hours recreating them with leggos, and drawings. When he learned how to walk it only took a day or two to realize the art of running. At a very young age he could dash across the rocks at the river and climb stairs without a problem. His little fingers have always been able to open and close things, getting into all kinds of fun. Opening and closing doors, zip lock bags, DVDs, the fridge all were things Bryce could do with ease shortly after he turned one, or even before.
All these little wonders are average, or slightly above.
Why do they stand out?

The bathroom was dark and she was trembling with fear as I walked by to grab a diaper. It had been days since she had come to live with us and along with the many other things I was learning I realized this 6 year old didn't have a clue how to turn on the bathroom light. Having already gone over how to get into the bathroom and how to turn the faucet on and off, I for some reason had missed this detail of bathroom visits. Why wouldn't I have thought to teach her how to turn on the light too?? Well I was still trying to wrap my mind around the neglect.

Turning a door knob
Opening a box of crayons
Turning on a faucet
Flushing a toilet
Putting on your socks
Climbing a ladder
Walking up or down stairs
Opening a zip lock baggy
Opening a DVD
Brushing your teeth
Snapping a button
Opening a fridge
Buckling your seat belt
Riding a bike with training wheels
Using a fork/spoon

Prepositions:
Above
Below
Up
Down
Over
Under

Commands:
Sit
Stand
Quiet
Stay
NO
Clean-up

All these things were mountains to climb, oceans to cross, and valleys to sweat in. And before we could start we had to give stability and security to these two precious children. With terror quivering through their bodies that first day they came to our home I bathed them in a tub with about 2 inches of water, just barely sprinkling it over their shaking bodies. I didn't dare get their heads wet. After they were "clean" I felt disgusted with myself, like I had violated them in some way. That night I woke up in a sweat from a dream that was never remembered.
Watching them walk past the bath room made me wonder what had happened to them to cause such fear. They hated it with a relentless passion as well as running water.


Two part statements such as:

Turn the light off and close the door
Put the dirty clothes in the basket
Wash your hands and turn off the light
Brush your teeth and go to bed
Put the toys on the shelf

These statements required months of teaching.

We had to start with the word LIGHT, then the word OFF, then onto CLOSE, and finally DOOR. I'm sure teaching English to a foreigner would have been easier simply because they would have had something to compare each word with. For example, a four or five year old on average knows what the word light means, even if he spoke Spanish and I pointed at a light the child would know what I was talking about because he can compare the word with the object. Not knowing what the word is but simply knowing what the object is helps a lot, but when you know neither, well it just makes things difficult for communicating.
It seemed as if these children had been hidden for years behind a brick wall, with
NOTHING!

Miracles!

Children truly amaze me! What precious gifts from God, each moment spent with a child seems like an opportunity to learn something new. These two girls surpassed not just mine but every one's expectations. The day I met them the social worker told me to treat them as if they were 12 months old, that they were delayed in every area, possibly irreversible mental retardation. These things may have ALL been very true if they were kept in continued neglect but they weren't. They were expected and encouraged to learn new things, have goals, and strive to become their best in everything. They had wings with which to fly and soar above anything that had been in their way before.

I guess why all this came to mind is because, I feel like I'm just an average mommy living an average life and having average expectations for my average five year old little honey of a son. Which I am extremely pleased to be in this average position. What got me thinking was how unaverage of a life these two girls must have had to be off the charts in below average. The IEP workers, Social workers, Councilors, Court workers and Lawyers all said the same things, "the abuse and neglect inflicted on these children is a rare case, there is nothing to compare it to because there are few who have experienced this kind of environment"
They couldn't be placed on a chart to be told if they were even close to average or not, they were off the chart.
Some area's of development will never be regained but with their own determination they passed us all up in the race to develope! They learned more than some children learn in years, they came to understand concepts that they were meant to learn as an infant, the leaps and bounds they made were remarkable and inspiring.
Children can surpass our own imagination of what they can become and who they can be, with love, respect, kindness, and instruction.

Lord keep my mind busy with your will for Bryce, your idea's of how to improve his mind and heart. Give me the understanding and knowledge to bring him closer to you. ~ Bryce's Mommy

"The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world
there hasn't been, and until the end of the world
there will not be, another child like him." ~ Pablo Casals

What is average anyways? Just a silly label!
In God's eyes we're all perfectly formed!

Family

Written two months ago on April 26th

Today is Tuesday, June 29th, 2011

It's raining outside and I have little time to scratch something down on screen, before story time with Bryce. It's about 7 in the evening and Chris is gone for the next couple of days, just me, a teen, an infant, busy five year old and two pets. It feels good to be surrounded by such nice company, Balto playing in the background and the rain tapping on the window. Quiet and peaceful, aside from a boy noise from Bryce every once and a while.

It's so strange how company changes over time, the ever evolving family. What is family? A brand new baby, to cue with, the passing of a loved one, the cycle of life. So many I've called family have come and gone. Cherishing those special moments with people that mean the most to you or care the most for you. Isn't this family? Isn't it those who you would do anything for, and not look back? I feel so blessed, beyond measure, I know without a doubt I have family... and lots of it. Not only have I been blessed with an earthly family that is much larger than most, but I have a Heavenly family, an Eternal family through Jesus Christ. It baffles me to think of my brothers and sisters across this little earth who call me family! I'm full on surrounded, full on loved, Christ's love that flows freely from His believers.

Family comes in all kinds of shapes, forms, sizes, colors, personalities, such a beautiful picture of God's unending creativity. I wouldn't trade in the wonderful people God has brought into my life for anything!

Braids of love

French Braids

It's the sweetest thing to wrap your fingers in your daughters hair as you weave a pattern of blond.

I adored french braiding the girls' hair, such soft and thick layers of sandy and sunshine blond. Watching their faces light up with pride as their hair was transformed from a sleepy and tousled mess to a beautiful crown,
I couldn't help but love it!

The youngest of the two girls had a pretty large scab on her scalp when she arrived at my home, about the size of a quarter. Having been vaguely told the cause of the owie, in disgust I put it out of my mind and thanked God she was healing from her wound. Months past and her scab fell away and her hair was growing back quite nicely, soon it would be hard to even notice the mark left by such an ugly scene.

Isn't it amazing how sometimes we make stories up in our minds of how things are, but in reality it's so much worse!

This ugly scene starts with a fire poker and ends with a scab on a little girls scalp. But while french braiding her sunshine blond hair one morning my dad walks up and asks, "when did she get that burn?"

I look over at him and make the motions with my lips to silence him. "sh!" All at once what he said sunk in, it sunk in deep. With my lips still in a puckered "sh" position, and with a glazed expression
I start to focus on what is clearly a burn mark.
A BURN MARK!!!
Where there had been a deep, black, nasty, thick scab her skin had grown white and pure again, but scarred just like a burn... melted. Her hair became loose in my hands and I felt like nothing in me could move as I imagined this sweet and precious child screaming in pain from a scolding hot fire poker.

Sometimes I wonder if the stories should be shared, should they be remembered? Who would want to remember such horror. To fill our minds with the sinful behavior of another, I would have to say isn't right. Hiding it isn't right either and I simply want to open all of our eyes to the pain so many people face each day.

I'm speechless at this moment by the memory of the pain she must have experienced.

My prayer
...
Lord Protect her mind and heart as she grows into a lovely young lady.
Let her forget the pain of that day and replace her past with a bright future.

Markings

Scars

It was cold outside and kinda cloudy but somehow still bright. Cassie and I were waiting for the bus to take her off to school. She was chatting through her stutter and I was trying to grasp her story line although hard to follow. Soon her chatter turned to a blurred background noise as I gazed at her petite and slender face. I hadn't noticed the mark on her chin, what was that? The skin was rippled as if it were an empty blister. I lifted her chin and smiled at her keeping my curiosity to myself as I examined her face, scars, there were scars all over her face. She had several on her forehead, and chin. Malnourished her scars healed roughly on her smooth surrounding skin. Such a lovely face wounded, my throat got tight and I curled her hair behind her ear, I wanted to see all of that precious little face of hers. It hadn't been long since her hair was a helmet to hide behind, similar to that of a bowl cut that a boy might have, I quickly learned all the tricks of pulling it back and making her look feminine. To this day I can't imagine how those marks on her little face were put there, who put them there and why. After being in my home for months her face started to change and one day while snuggling I noticed that the scar on her chin was faded and flat, no more rippling and I knew then that she was healing, because of the nutrition she was being provided with and the filling out of her face her scars were disappearing. When I think of her precious pixie face today at this very moment not a single scar is remembered just smooth healthy skin.

Stairs are steeper than you think!

Expectations is such a big word with an even bigger meaning! I was taught by two sweet little girls so much about expectations. When you meet someone for the first time isn't it so true that we all have a preconceived idea of who they are, how they should act, or maybe what to expect of them. The first time I met these two little ones they were in the middle of their 4th and 6th year of life here on planet earth. What a bizarre place it must have been for them then. Being super cautious not to trip as they slowly walked up my two steps into my home I quickly assumed that they were timid to come in. A couple months went by and I soon learned differently. You see we were at Olive Garden one day, and as we were descending from the second floor of this restaurant I had the baby on my hip as I was holding hands with the four-year old and behind me was the six-year old, seemed like a reasonable set up. I was WRONG, as I glance back to check up on the older of the three I quickly braced myself for what I thought was going to end with us all in a heap. All I really saw were legs, she was literally somersaulting down the stairs and I grabbed hold of the rail with the hand holding my baby as I was able to stand my ground she came careening into my legs. Whew! I checked her over from head to toe and she was fine, luckly. I asked her hun what happened? She didn't respond but as we continued down the rest of the stairs I took notice to how both of these little ones were reacting to this flight of stairs and it dawned on me... this is one of their firsts. They had clearly not been exposed to a staircase very many times. I realized at that moment that my 14 month old was way ahead of them in this area and wondered what other expectations I had that were unrealistic. So many I'm all to sure, but I remember that day with delight because we made many trips to the park so they could both practice this important skill of transfering weight and balance. With a helping and always ready hand they became pros in no time. I was in such awe with the unwavering prescence of God's hand on their little lives. God taught me so much through their lives.

Mirrored Images

A reoccurring Dream... 2006

Waking up a little sweaty I'd rub my head, baffled that I'd had a similar dream the night before. Nothing scary, horrifying or disturbing, really, just an empty house. A little house, a neutral color on the exterior, maybe a gray color. The inside was kinda dark with light only coming through the curtainless windows. The one room I always ended up in had that fake wood paneling and tattered books and toys on the floor. The only smell that I could make out was that of cat pee, it was so quiet and the sun was always hot. There was a tree outside and I could hear the few leaves moving in the slight breeze that would sweep through the dessert like landscape. No voices could be heard, no cats, dogs, just the breeze. Occasionally you'd hear the sandy dirt pick up and move across the yard. Although it didn't seem scary here in this place, a deep uneasiness was felt, like a ghost town with a bad history. A mystery of the past memories that were had in this little house. After waking up from this, I would go about my day without knowing the connection, I would look out toward the east and glance at the tan mountains and say to myself "I bet they came from there." Weeks went by, slowly my dreams became more and more detailed and finally I had to ask, I had to ask someone where these two precious children that slept in my house came from. Where did they play, what views did they see from their window, what was it like for them, were just a few of the questions running through my head. My mind was trying to create a past for them, not knowing their past was depriving me of sleep and peace of mind. So I got answers, just a few but I got some. The home they were taken from was located in the little town of Wendal, dusty and empty, it resembled a ghost town just like in my dreams. Nothing but a few houses and if I remember right a very small post office. To my surprise the house was also a neutral color, perhaps at one time blue, but had faded from the sun into a grayish color. There was indeed an icky cat smell that perfumed all the stuffed animals and toys. Some particulars were a pink princess bed without sheets just a towel and a caterpillar alphabet toy. There were rooms in the home with wood paneling but most startling of the comparison between my dreams and reality was the view out their bedroom window. The tan mountains that I would see so often and think of them were the very mountains that the little town of Wendal was nestled under. I was in disbelief, I couldn't believe that the images in my dreams were so accurate.

Ethiopia!!

Chris is miles away right now and I just wanted to share some of the updates posted by some of the team members! For those of you who don't know, Chris is in Ethiopia on a missions trip. We're both excited to see what God might bring into our lives because of this trip. The Lord has been working in our hearts for almost a year now, preparing us for this mission's trip and I believe whatever else he has up his sleeve. :) So I'd like to ask you to take a little time to pray for their saftey and that the work of their hands will Glorify an Almighty God.

You can Visit their BLOG thatwemightbeadopted.blogspot.com

OR go to my FB page and see the postings for the updates :)

So many wonderful Friends and Family have donated funds to support this trip, those funds will go straight towards the help of the people they are woking with!

Thank YOU for your support and prayers!

~Nicole